Value-
What defines value?
Interestingly, value is an action that we place upon
something. That action can come in the form of a word, a deed or and action. By
the same token, we can devalue in a converse response.
Some years ago I was in Africa on a speaking engagement when
I was taken into the village to meet people and eat. During this time, I was
taken aback by a group of children who were playing with an old discarded
motorcycle Tyre. Twenty of so children had gathered with sticks and had devised
a game, where two sides were engaged with rolling the tyre from one end of the
dusty track to the other, in an attempt to gain points by reaching the oppositions
“goal line.” Fascinated by this total engagement by all and sundry, it became
clear that the tyre was “public property”, all sharing equal ownership,
responsibility and favour towards it. It was a community resource of great value
and mutual respect.
Something that we would consign to the organic rubbish collection
was in this context, of immense value and worth tor the community. My first
reaction was to improve their game with a soccer ball, only to be advised that
it would likely be frowned upon as this tyre had been with the community for
generations.
The intrinsic value of an object or person is defined by
those around it. We can improve any perceived value by the way we respond to
it.
This response is threefold:
1.
By our actions towards it
2.
By our language about it
3.
By the priority given to it
One only needs to visit an auction to see this in motion.
Those bidding, determine the perceived value which equates to an increased
perception of the object on offer. The highest bidder places a greater value
than those who don’t. A person’s action has placed the value, whereas others
have diminished it.
The same principle applies towards those we love or hate.
One cannot remain neutral, for to not act, places a value just as activity
does. We establish the value on relationships daily, and we choose to increase
or decrease that person’s worth by acting in a way that places a higher or
lesser value. A derogatory word, a demeaning conversation, a slap or a punch, or
lowering the priority the individual gets, are all ways of placing value.
Not everyone perceives the same value and in fact, many
would see their time as the most precious of all commodities and yet, one of
the key ways in which we can show a person we value them is the time we are
prepared to give to them. Others will rarely value your needs higher than their
own needs and wants. It is imperative therefore that we must first determine ones
own value, thus ensuring that others don’t devalue it. I don’t subscribe to the
ethos that I am more valuable than anyone else, but I am no less value either.
So how can we ensure that we act in a way that increase the
value of another, whilst ensuring that we don’t devalue ourselves in the
process? I believe the key is found in the threefold factors mentioned above.
1.
Our actions determine what value we place.
The
old saying of “actions speak louder than words” is inaccurate. Our words can
devalue someone or something in a heartbeat. To say our children’s school
activity is important to us and yet we turn up late or not at all, has already devalued
the individual and event in the child’s mind. To say you will look after a
loaned object and yet use it in a way that devalues it, speaks volumes. To
bully, lush, flick or annoy someone is devaluing the relationship and the
person.
2.
Our language and conversation places a value.
He’s
rubbish, that team are ****, and comments on social media can do irreparable
damage. Bullying with words is the latest craze and it robs people of worth and
value. Even if something is true, the way we communicate it can have serious
consequences to that person’s value within a community. Language is such a
throw away resource. Often the words used have long term consequences and rob
an individual of self-worth. We all do it, but we shouldn’t as each word either
adds or detracts from the total value.
3.
The priority we give to a person or event
determines what value we place.
I recently sold an item and the buyer arranged
a day, time and place in which to pick it up. I confirmed the event with him
and it came and went. Days later, I was still trying to communicate with him
about his purchase and finally told him I would re-list the item and thanked
him. His response to me was a clear indication that he believed my time was
worth less than his. He had devalued the transaction. Ironically, his website
advertised himself as “Reliable, honest and punctual.” Our priorities determine
the value we hold on the event.
What I hold as great value, other
may see as junk. Just as the motorcycle wheel in Africa, it held little actual
value, yet to the community it was priceless.
Our world may be full of
inventions and resources which many place high value upon, yet the greatest
value we can ever instill in another is how we
act, how we speak and how important we hold the activities of
another.
You see, it’s within everyone’s capacity to place added value on
humanity. And its cost? Very little!
Value – What defines it?
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